Dear Diary
May 24, 2025

I am supposed to be writing my thesis, but let’s take a break. I mean, I need an escape route every now and then. So today, I’m indulging in the Wisest Fool of All Time.

You already know him — the man who asked God for wisdom, got it, and then proceeded to collect wives like Pokémon cards, horses like trophies, and made diplomatic alliances like he was trying to win “Most Likely to Ruin the Kingdom” in his high school yearbook.

The funniest part? He was loved. Not small love o — endless love. Because God called him Jedidiah — meaning “Beloved of the Lord”.

Imagine!!!! Solomon’s government name according to heaven’s registry was: “I love you regardless.”

Now me, as a human being with peppery tendencies and a thesis deadline haunting my spirit, I’d have called Solomon something else entirely — maybe That One I Warned, or Chief Commander of Missed Opportunities.

But that’s the difference between me and God.
God is not petty. God is not human. God is not me.

Solomon didn’t just fail once. He took his time to fall — like lightning in slow motion.

In fact, the very first thing he did after receiving divine wisdom was… wait for it… break the law of Moses.

Deuteronomy 17 made it painfully clear:
• Don’t go back to Egypt for horses.
• Don’t gather too many wives.
• Don’t stockpile silver and gold.

What did my brother do? He went straight to Egypt, said “Load the chariots!” and probably picked up a few princesses on the way. At that point, if I were God — after granting this man divine wisdom — I would’ve sent a small celestial memo: “Wisdom revoked. Kindly return crown.”

But no — God still let him reign. He still let him build the temple. Still let him write Proverbs — maybe just to show us down the line that only God is truly wise. And yes, He still called him beloved.

Because that’s what God does — He blesses us even while our foolishness is still loading.

Why again? Because we’re talking about GOD. I don’t even have more words. Just… God.

And that’s where I had to pause today, in full, confounded irritation. Because God looks at us — in our half-obedient, half-clueless, partially-repentant state — and still says: I love you. Take the wisdom. Take the platform. I’m still with you. Even if you break My heart later — I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

That’s not wisdom. That’s divine madness. That’s radical love. That is wild.

You are the most powerful, Lord — and yet Your love isn’t merit-based. You don’t delete people just because You know their ending. You don’t even wait for us to become worthy.

Solomon was very unworthy — and I honestly wonder what he would have done if You hadn’t given him wisdom. But You? You bless us lavishly for the part of our lives we surrender… even when You already know we’ll wreck the rest.

And that breaks my heart.

Because I know that if I were God — and I knew humans would destroy the latter half of their lives? I’d be petty. I’d send pre-emptive lightning — EVERY NOW AND THEN. I’d withhold favour until COMPLETE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT was achieved and signed off by at least three angels.

Thankfully, I’m not God.
And thank God for that.

I’m not even trying to be Solomon 2.0. I’m just… sorrowfully humbled and madly in love with this God who would never, ever let go.

And so today, I just want to give God this wicked heart of mine — the one that’s still listening, still available, still saying yes before the destructive distractions set in (this is me praying they don’t).

Because if there’s anything more tragic than being wise and walking away from God… it’s being alive and thinking it’s too late to come back.

MAY WE NOT GIVE IN TO DESPAIR.
May we not become wise fools.
May we not lose our wonder.

And may we never forget this truth:
God doesn’t wait for us to become worthy before He starts loving us.
He just loves us. And waits for us to realise it.

So this is my note to you:
YOU ARE LOVED.
YOU. YES YOU. YOU ARE LOVED.

So join me as I say:
Here I am, Lord.
Not perfect. But present.
And that’s enough for You.

Okay — I’m going back to my thesis. Peace out.

Yours in destructive foolishness, but still wildly loved,
Jedidiah

Did you read the last post of “I’m in pain – but not for long” https://oluwatoyosiabikoye.com/hi-im-pain-but-not-for-long/

How weak can you be? Samson had one damn job https://oluwatoyosiabikoye.com/how-weak-can-you-be-samson-had-one-damn-job/