Dear Diary,

June 13, 2020

At my workplace, some workplace shenanigans can mess with your emotions. Wait for it, this is a recount of a true life event.

Oh, Lawd; where is this document again!

I worked on it for two days. I saved it before I left the office yesterday. How do I explain this?

I lamented to the IT unit guys in my workplace that my desktop was malfunctioning. I tormented them with my numerous complaint because they should know better. How on earth can my system delete documents as though there was some form of witchcraft involved?

My desktop was not only deleting my workplace documents; it wipes out all trace of its existence from my operating system. This trend defied the rules of auto backup, auto-recovery or auto anything. I am sure that wasn’t the intent of Microsoft.

The IT guys were never able to address this situation because to them, the desktop worked perfectly. It had no virus, no space issues, it wasn’t slow, neither was it detecting any error from Windows. I was always so helpless.

The shocking revelation was that other than my workplace documents, my desktop was capable of saving and recalling any of my other personal documents. Could there ever be an operating system that selected what to keep and wipe off? I couldn’t unravel the mystery. I just had to survive the unpleasant situation by ensuring I completed every task before I left the office even if I had to close at 8 pm.

This was my misery for almost a year.

Documents got missing, I became so incompetent on the job, and I couldn’t deliver on any task whatsoever. I began to question myself on everything computer-related in the workplace; however, I never accepted that I had poor memory. Naaaaa! My memory never fails me, not even in my dreams.

It was so bad that even when I work till 6 pm or 9 pm and I printed out my paperwork and left it on my table to submit the next day, I would receive so many negative feedback on unimaginable errors and blunder. I will say to myself, Toyo, you surely couldn’t have made those kinds of errors. In fact, one time, as a remedy for errors, my boss literally asked me to always read out to myself multiple times before I submitted any task given to me. As lawyers, we deal with words. Errors are not allowed in the workplace!

I cried many times and lay awake at night. What could be the problem Toyosi? What exactly?

I am not a believer of anything metaphysical so, the darn thing happening was human or human-related, but how? I couldn’t divulge.

One day, it became so bad. When my boss was done belittling my intelligence, I said to myself that she was either psychotic or I am pea-brained. I asked her to let me take a look at the document I handed to her. She angrily tossed it at me. I glanced through, and for heaven sake, that wasn’t what I did. I felt shame and remorse. It was another document from what I worked on.

My boss did not understand how I deliver on the job on some days and on other days which occurred pretty often, I was as blind as Bartimaeus in the Bible. Those were my lowest days. My boss had to ask me one time if I was going through a breakup or was having man issues. She never stopped narrating how I came highly recommended, and she just doesn’t understand what is wrong with me. I didn’t either.

As usual, I grew smarter, as I did not know what kind of situation I was dealing with. I learnt the hard way by removing everything personal and official from the office desktop. I saved all my work either on my mobile phone, or I backed it up in my e-mail. When I printed it out, I safely kept it in my bag and took it home.

My error rate at the workplace began to reduce, and I wasn’t mad after all. My boss began to commend me again for reducing my error rate and asking me to take more care of my relationships. If I had told her, I had no man in my life, chances are I would increase her thesis that I needed one. I took upon myself the scar of being emotionally wounded when I wasn’t.

One of those days, I got an offer of a free ride from my brother. He had a 7 am meeting close to my office, and didn’t want to ride alone.

Who does 7 am meeting for Christ sakes? Although I didn’t want to follow him, I couldn’t have peace sleeping at all. So I joined him. He dropped me off at Adeola Odeku Street at 6:35 am, I wasn’t sure the security would let me into the building. Still, I was ready to ask or join my brother for his meeting if they didn’t let me in. That was the day of my rebirth in this cruel adult world.

As my brother parked his car, I asked the security if I could enter the building. He opened the gates for me while I said goodbye to my brother. I twinkle-toed to the floor of my workplace.

I let myself into the “Junior counsel office”. As I tried to turn on the sockets, I noticed “Blue face” on my seat, working on my desktop. Very strange!

I wanted to alert her, but I chose not to because she chose to sit in the dark. I stood and watched her. She didn’t even catch my smell, and that was even eldritch because I had Oud perfumes on. It all came rushing at me at once. All of it! Tears flowed, I stood still, and those moments lasted forever. A million questions ran through my mind. I said to myself, Toyo, its been Blue Face all along?

The second I heard the windows shutdown sound, and before she could stand up from my seat, I put on the switch. I gave her a round of applause for deleting all my documents and wiping it out from my system.

She was guilt-ridden but unapologetic.

It was the first time in my life, I knew I was in for some deep shit. I was working with a jealous psycho and if she would go this far, is my life really safe? Though terrified, I was happy what I was dealing with wasn’t metaphysical after all. I was right all along!

The person who I greeted every day, smiled with, ate with, listened to, ran errands for, could descend so low. If it weren’t for the grace of “whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well”, where would I be?

Now that I discovered who I was dealing with, she metamorphosed against me in extreme ways you all would expect that I should have known. I still didn’t learn my lesson.

For previous posts: Did I just witness a crime? see https://oluwatoyosiabikoye.com/did-i-just-witness-a-crime/