Mr Scapegoat in detention

Mr Scapegoat in detention!

How did he land at the SSS base?

In this case, it was Sunday, August 23rd, when an unknown number called me.

Hello! Hello, can you hear me?

 Yes, I can! At this time, I tried to figure out who the caller was because I recently put in my main sim-card in a small phone. It rarely shows the name of callers.

I could not verify the number on Trucaller as my search on the App brought no feedback, so I just prayed it was not an annoying random call. It was worse than the unexpected.

C: Are you Olúwatóyọ̀sí, I meant to see you a few months now, but due to the lockdown, I haven’t been able to. 

To my mind, who is this person with deep Igbo accent. I assumed he was a potential client. So, I responded; 

M: Hope no problem, sir? How may I help you?

The response was a shocker.

C: I am no longer getting younger; I want you to marry me!

Instantly, I looked at the screen of my phone to be sure my mind was not playing tricks. I heard well. Who is this person ordering me? Can this be the new jazz trend? I, Olúwatóyọ̀sí, I cannot be jazzed in my lifetime. My God won’t have it.

M: Sir, please look at the number you dialled. I believe there is a mistake somewhere.

C: Are you not Olúwatóyọ̀sí? I found your number when I retrieved my lost sim-card. Call me back in 1 hour. I want to rest.

The nerve of this person sha!  Kila gbe, kila ju? To be single is not a curse ke. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening, so I dropped the call. Wetin Musa no go see for gate! I didn’t call after one hour, and he called me back.

C: I told you I was tired, and I want to rest, why didn’t you call me back? I am busy now ensure you call me back in another hour. He dropped the call.

Obviously, I pitied my person. There’s got to be something wrong with this crackhead. I hissed. The tone ending the call was to my mind the end of my torture that this person would find out he made a mistake. Then, it occurred to me again that this could be a prank. 

Emphatically, He called back after 1 hour. Like for real?

C: I told you to call me back in one hour, why didn’t you?

Talking without thinking isn’t my weakest point, but this time I was finding it really difficult to think. I tried my best not to lose my composure on the phone with this caller. Only for him to say;

C: Will you come to my birthday party in 2022?

First, I was trying to be a nice girl on the phone. Second, it became tough to be nice in this kind of conversation. Finally, it was evident this person just wanted to waste my time. So I handed the phone to my cousin to handle the conversation. She placed it on speaker and of course, wasted his airtime. If there is a hall of fame for dumb men, this guy should be their undisputed president.

I looked at my cousin, and I was like, did he just ask that? Like 2022? Either this guy is a joker or he is insane. He asked so many questions, and of course, my cousin gave a lot of wrong answers. Knowing my impatient nature at unintelligent and non-profitable discussion, I collected the mobile phone and blocked the number.

He called with another number.

C: Can you send me airtime, I finished my airtime talking to you. 

What the heck is wrong with this guy. In my livid state, I dropped the call and blocked the new number he used to call me. At this time, He called with yet another number, and I recall my cousin saying to him that he should use the airtime he wasted calling my number to reach out to whoever was more important.

To sum this up, he asked too many irrelevant personal questions. Again, I blocked this number.

In time, I noticed his accent moved from Igbotic to obvious Hausa. 

The following day he called me with yet another number. This time his English was so difficult to comprehend. He reminded me of his request for airtime from the previous day. All the composure in me left my spirit, soul and body. In as much as I was livid, I wasn’t quick to speak. He further stated that if I didn’t have money, I should ask my husband for money to send him the airtime. I saved myself the stress of speaking and blocked the number for the umpteenth time. Overall, I could have blocked at about seven to eight numbers. I told myself Olúwatóyọ̀sí you have to stop blocking and deal with this situation.

By happenstance, my boss sent me to deliver an urgent message to her friend, who is one of the topmost bosses at the DSS office. I got to the DSS office, saw the Boss and I delivered the message. There and then, my phone wouldn’t stop ringing. The woman saw the scepticism I used in looking at my phone and permitted me to pick my call. I was frustrated and angry and helpless.

I screamed at the top of my voice, ‘Hellooo, please stop calling me and stop using different numbers. Please for God’s sake’. I was visibly shaken and very upset. The DSS boss asked me if all was well with me. Following her statement, my village people almost won, as I was about to say, nothing Ma’am! However, my ancestors prevailed over me and won the war brewing inside of me. Crying, I said the truth and how many times I had to block this idiot. Besides, I didn’t like the experience with the caller.

In detail, the DSS boss collected all the numbers and from that moment, she encouraged me to pick all my calls without fear.

As long as you keep getting those calls, I would make a scapegoat out of him. In the meantime, my daughter, you don’t have to worry about anything. Go home! We will take care of this. Recently, we have received reports of girls being kidnapped, raped and conned by unknown callers pretending to know their victims. I thought she was joking. Kidnap ke? Aa ni resu o!

I played the headline of ‘Mr Scapegoat in detention‘ in my head. It felt good.

The officials on the instruction of their boss tracked and arrested this incessant caller. My dear people of God, that was how this guy landed in detention. You would think I should now be at peace, but, I am far from it.

My phone would not stop ringing because so many unknown persons are begging me to forgive and forget Mr Scapegoat in detention. In short, I told them to goan bring 10Million naira, and I promise them I will have instant amnesia.

This week has been crazy!

Now SSS have Mr Scapegoat in detention, and they have come to ask me what I want to be done with this Scapegoat. They think I am their boss sister’s child. I told them I want the end to this harassment.

That was how I got justice, and I hope he gets out of there alive.

Just to put us on notice, it was at SSS I was told fraudsters now trail people through unnecessary phone call conversations. The conversations enable the fraudsters to gather information, which allows them to trick innocent people and sometimes, these incidences may cause the death of innocent people. Everyone has got to be careful not to be fooled or blackmailed.

Guess who Mr Scapegoat in detention turned out to be? One of the people who almost defrauded my cousin last year.

See how the devil wants to stress himself and not me.

Without reservation, if I had gone to meet SSS myself to put Mr Scapegoat in detention, maybe I would have been made to pay through my nose. Anyway, let me be here eating puff puff while he learns a life lesson. I pray he confesses to previous and grievous crimes.

For more on my blog see ‘Forgiveness will make you lol’

Comments (7)

  1. Mahmood mohammed Maishanu


    I wish I know how to applaud you in different languages. But unfortunately I only can use English, so I say “Excelsior” ! Shakespeare is getting really jealous

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