As luck would have it, the guys in front of me were both as bald as eggs, and when Father did the sign of the cross on them with ashes, it was like watching a live-action remake of Tom and Jerry. I swear, for a brief moment..

Then she took pity on me and said I should punish myself. I said I would say the Hail Mary. Little did I know, it would turn into a marathon of devotion. Normally, I expected her to ask me to say three to ten Hail Marys, but she brought out those beads and asked me to say five decades. I cried because then five decades felt like five million decades.

I mean who would want to shout on a GenZ singing amid all these Grandmas? I was to be pampered so that I would keep showing up. But, Grumpy Old Lady liked her spot, but she didn’t want to talk to me, so she complained to the choirmaster, who asked her to tell me to move. I waited for her to do as instructed, but she didn’t. The choir master looked at me, I innocently looked away as if I was confused, but stood my sacred ground.

Well, this is one of the many reasons I always love the law. Freedom of religion is open to all. What is good for the goose – is good for the gander.

The idea that some individuals stand on the ‘balcony’ of our lives, cheering us on, providing positive energy through their affirmations, while others dwell in our ‘basement,’ doing exactly the opposite. Raises the question; are we balcony or basement people?

I practically begged her to spill the beans. She resisted like a champ, and when she finally agreed to tell, she made weird sounds in my ear – ‘SwishSwooshWhiffWhooshWhizz’. Ahan! what is ‘SwishSwooshWhiffWhooshWhizz’?  I was like, ‘Stop blowing breeze and talk!’

In my head, I started to make a checklist of my woes… the gen goes off at midnight, the bloody tap in the bathroom does not run, and my daddy is out here chanting Tower of Babel like a dark mantra, What other absurdity could unfold at this point?

Mary, tell me you don’t want to marry me rather than say you are pregnant. What have I done to you that you reject me so? Mary, grappling with the changes in her body, seemed exhausted with Joseph’s inquiry. Her intention was merely to provide information, to prevent Joseph from branding her a fraud later on.

Embrace the fall, the fumble, the stumble,
For in failure’s dance, resilience will not crumble.
Whispers of defeat, echoes so discreet,
Rise once again, success to sweetly meet.

Two days later, my friend, attempting to bring a truce, asked me if I could pray because I never joined any of their prayer meetings. However, I was quick to shut them up on the evil spirit plan. I first did the sign of the cross, thanking my stars that these people deleted me based on all my colours-in-between.