Feb 22nd, 2018
You remember Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? I met his spirit today.
I was in court today and something happened. I am still in that communicable shock.
So i was minding my business trying to keep up with the notes of the questions being asked. I was with a senior colleague who will want me to write how he spits, if he even spits. So i was scribbling furiously and holding onto life with my pen and this lying criminal took a pause to answer the question put to him.
gbammmmmm…..i looked at that which was capable of distracting him, and what a distraction it was. I needed it and It was about time it came. i stopped looking at the white sheet of paper to the direction the accused person looked.
This cute, over fine geh entered the court. I was in awe at her beauty. Her sight is indeed one to behold.
And that was how everything scattered. The angel of *abinu eni* meaning angel that is just angry that man is man, the village people of life, visited my vision.
She bowed to pay respect to the court and who would have thought that this Tomato Jos has got all that business going beneath. My dear people of God, all hell let loose. The wig, she had on, had another wig beneath. (an abomination overload and revealed in a wicked way)
Lemme repeat again, ‘coz like I said I am still in shock. Omalichanwa walked into the court and her gait was unbeatably flawless, even as I held my pen holding onto life to write, I had to steal a gaze as she walked in…… ko ka!…ko ka….ko ka! Distracting us all.
We all had to wait for the beauty to sit. The moment of *”I have arrived in my limo“* was barely over, when l immediately held my breath and my eyes almost popped out of their socket of their own volition.
Ask me what happen?
Omalichanwa (I just dashed her this name ‘coz of her great beauty) took a bow to pay respect to my Lord in court and gbammmmm! her wigs fell and revealed a corn row of about three months.
And what a great fall it was.
The Barristers’ wig and the human hair wig, came crashing down. And they didn’t only go down like humpty dumpty, they both decided to go all monkey in the shadow style, one decided to go east and the other west.
The men in court couldn’t comprehend. I couldn’t either. My Lord immediately called it an accident.
Omalichanwa couldn’t even bend to pick up the destiny on the floor. One representing the Esquire and the other a whole damn race.
Omalichamwa scrambled to the floor, not knowing which to pick first. Is it The wig wig, or the other wig.
My Lord couldn’t put a stop to the confusion, she asked Omalichanwa to get the hell out of the court and put her shit together and stop embarrassing a whole race. My Lord quickly instilled decorum and asked my senior colleague to continue with his questions. Even the accused person’s mouth was still open, as well as mine.
I thought the ordeal was over. See all of us looking like . I thought to myself *Sazzy If na you, just crawl your way to Japan* don’t remain in Nigeria o. Or kuku fake the *i have fainted part*
The most horrifying episode decided to show as *Omalichanwa in distress part 2*.
As Omalichanwa stood up from the ultimate search for the wigs on the floor, I saw that scene that left me breathless. She looked like those semblance of African Magic old women….. the weaving under both wigs, made me remember *koto aye* movie of all those iya aje. You know that hair, that has that kind of Patience Ozokwor wicked look piercing us all without expiry date? That exact look.
I was like oh no, Omalichanwa whyyyyyy na, whyyyyyy? My Lord said again get out of my court in an increased and greater decibel.
Aswertogawd we were all jaw-dropping in awe of the change in finesse and we wouldn’t dare talk about it. Till now I just had to share this experience with my diary. You know you can keep your mouth shut. It’s just you and I.
That was the part I did like this in court *Sazzy* just grab your wig to your skull. There is no shame grabbing the wig to the skull. No shame at all. I placed my hands on my head like I was about to deliver myself from my village people. Were it to fall and to fall in court, what will i do? This packaging will not kill us
2 thoughts on “Dear Diary; You remember Humpty Dumpty had a great fall?”
Your choice of words is exquisite
Lovely write up